Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
