if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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