Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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