So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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