We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
