Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
