I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
