It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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