does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
soo... how was my night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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