No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
