ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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