Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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