Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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