I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
