Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
