The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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