shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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