when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
