Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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