He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
