Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
