they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
