thus making me awesome and them whores
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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