Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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