He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize