she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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