What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
