yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
