Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
