If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
