there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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