it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
