i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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