Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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