my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
