Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
