i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
