Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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