he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I died a long time ago.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
