something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
