Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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