I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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