this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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