I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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