ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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