Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
