I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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