I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
