Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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