i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize