Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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