This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
