I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
