Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
