So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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