I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
