oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
