I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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