Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
