Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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