Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
