i just had sex bonerless
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize