Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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