I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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