I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
