garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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