We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
